Having a freak out, but otherwise I’m fine, you?

I am SUPER frustrated with numerous clients’ last-minute-ness, poor communication, bad planning and stupid rules leading to poor marketing focus! And I’m even MARRIED to one of the clients!

I’m also starting to freak out about the whole “having a baby” thing. I made the mistake of watching a link another one of my pregnant friends shared that showed a live birth. OMG! It wasn’t scary or gross to watch (ok, it was kind of gross), or made me think it was going to be too painful. It just made me realize I’m going to be doing that in the next 6 – 12 weeks, and I AM NOT READY! I don’t know how I’m going to pay for this baby once she comes, I’m not even 100% sure where I’m going to be living (the house STILL hasn’t closed! See below), I don’t have a back-up baby sitter or confirmed that anyone is going to come help take care of me, or asked anyone to cook food for us (we’re still asking people to bum beds off of them instead).

Ok, you may ask (or not), what’s happened with the house now? Well, the house has note closed yet for some fairly stupid reasons, namely that my in-laws lied to the bank, twice, which made the bank suspicious and slowed everything to a near halt. The in-laws have kept saying, “oh, three more days” for the past six weeks, which was making me suspicious, but I did not know about this little lying incident until the realtor told my husband Kier last Friday, who didn’t tell me until later that night, which is probably for the best except I broke out in a big ol’ heat rash over the weekend, which I suspect may have been aided by the stress (I live in one of the few places in the nation that is NOT over 90 degrees right now). The new closing date was supposed to be today, and considering this is the second extension and everyone is officially pissed off at the in-laws (me, both realtors, the bank), I’m pretty sure it has to happen today, or Monday at the latest, or the whole deal likely implodes and we’re back to renting. But so far no news from the in-laws. Lucky for us we’re staying in an apartment that is about to come up for lease next month, so we may just stay. Ugh!

Today is also the day a REALLY big conference Kier is organizing unofficially starts, so assuming things DO close today or tomorrow, AND since we are storing all of our stuff in the facility where the conference is occurring (Kier’s workplace), we will probably just stay put until the weekend’s over regardless. If it does close tomorrow and I’m feeling bored (ha!), I may try to grab the mattress from storage, some of our spices, and whatever else I can fit in the pick-up truck, dump it off at the new house, and call it good. I’m also supposed to be headed out of town to visit my extended family NEXT weekend; I had really hoped Kier would come with me but at this point I seriously doubt it, if nothing else just because he’d need that weekend to move our sh*t into our new place. I’m officially so big that I’m no good at moving stuff bulkier than heavy grocery bags. I could throw some things like garbage bags full of linens over my shoulder, but otherwise, nada.

I haven’t wanted to write because I’ve been trying to be in denial about the whole thing. But I’m pissed; pissed enough that I don’t know how I’m going to handle seeing my in-laws tomorrow at the conference (they’re coming for moral support).

I’m about to head off to the company picnic and pretend everything’s fine, but it’s not, and I’m tired of it not being fine. I wanted this year to be low key, but unfortunately it’s not, and having a baby is one of the lower stress things happening right now.

I keep reminding myself that nobody’s sick, everybody’s healthy and happy, and we HAVE a place to live, even if it’s not permanent. We both have steady jobs, we love each other, and we are going to get through this. All the same, wish me luck.

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