Clearing the air

I want to make a few things very clear here to multiple people in my life. If you recognize yourself in any of the following statements, even if I didn’t originally mean it for you, take it to heart:

Nagging me about eating "better" when I already feel like I am doing a decent job just makes me feel bitter when I actually DO eat the kind of food you approve of. It’s not like I’m living off of Snickerdoodles or something! And my body doesn’t even like half the sugary crap that’s out there, either due to gluten intolerance or just way-too-sweatness, so it’s a big production for me to eat sweets anyway!

I don’t care if everyone hates you. It’s not about people hating you, it’s about making the right decision. Trying to please everyone is just going to make everyone miserable, including yourself (that applies to me as much as to anyone else).

I am not, nor will I ever be, a 1950’s housewife. I will not give up my career for the children. I will not put myself behind your needs (anymore than I already do). I am not your f*cking secretary (anymore than I already do). This is a f*cking partnership and you need to start treating it like one!
For example, if your favorite cousin who is like a brother to you but whom you only see twice a year calls out of the blue and wants to get together for dinner tonight at 7pm, and has a very specific diet that we must accommodate, AND the temporary housing we are staying in is a mess, AND you don’t get home until 7pm which means all prep is on me, please let me know via phone call, not via IM because I happened to ask you about what you wanted for dinner, and preferably before 2pm!

I’m sure there is nothing wrong with your communication, Ms. Boss, but for whatever reason our communication styles do not mesh at all! You say tomato soup, I think you mean gazpacho! I am not stupid, our styles just aren’t the same, and I really wish you’d get that!

It is NOT, repeat, NOT, okay to ask how much weight a pregnant woman has gained, unless you are her doctor. It doesn’t matter if you are the father of the fetus, grandmother, or perfect stranger. Any way you say it, it implies I’m either gaining not enough or too much weight. It is NOT OKAY!

Yes, coworkers, I’m feeling FINE physically (i.e., I’m not about to go into pre-term labor and disappear on bedrest and leave all you coworkers with my shitload of work!), it’s the emotional shit that’s taking it’s toll on me right now, but thanks for asking.

Just because I’m being nice to you does not mean that I’m not serious when I ask for what I want!


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