All those pregnancy hormones they warn you about finally feel like they’re actually kicking in at the last stretch of my 1st trimester, or maybe it’s the beginning of the second and they lie when they say things are supposed to soothe over after 13 weeks. Or maybe I was just too exhausted to notice before. I had one good week of not feeling exhausted before "pregzilla" hatched.
I’m bloated to the point that almost anything I eat makes me feel way too full for way too long. I’ve gained two pounds this week on bloat alone. Now officially none of my pants fit. Ugh. I get hungry but don’t want to eat anything ’cause I feel like crud, it’s really annoying. I would just live off tea with milk except for the caffeine (I’m allowing myself one cup a day now).
I’m also super irritable, mostly at Kier*. If Kier posts anything on Facebook that I find annoying or if he even looks at me the wrong way I’m ready to rip into him and tear him to shreds. Ugh, actually the idea of raw meat sounds really bad right now, scratch that idea (although pork is apparently back on the menu). But even his mom and aunt telling me what to do, even something as simple as "don’t read those articles, they’ll make you feel anxious about parenthood" makes me want to scream at them. I can read whatever I goddamn want! I’m holding my shit together pretty well for work, but if the instructions on something aren’t horribly clear (and they’re usually not) I really want to write back to the person and tell them just how unclear they are. I took a workshop yesterday with an enormous amount of dumb people and I was ready to leave at the halfway break I was getting so annoyed.
I hate it. I don’t like being pregzilla, or feeling like a volcano. Dormant, but rumbling nonetheless, both with gas and anger. I really hope this is just a flare up and I feel more even keel here soon.
*I’m tired of writing "my husband" every time I want to mention the guy that knocked me up. I gave him this name once, so I’m sticking with it as a pseudonym.