Wednesday is self-doubt day

God I’m feeling so insecure today. My work, my life. I am just a giant puddle of neurosis and anxiety. I’m worried my boss thinks I can’t do my job, I’m worried I’m not feeding my fetus the right foods or enough foods, I’m worried about gaining weight too quickly, I’m worried I’m going to be late for a informational meeting that probably won’t be very useful. I didn’t turn a tape recorder on and therefore didn’t get a very short interview recorded that I’d been trying to get for literally weeks, although the notes from that interview did give me some information about the individual that wasn’t all that helpful for our end goals. I can’t get a hold of any of my managers and so have had to make decisions that may be WRONG (god forbid!), I’m worried I missed some deadline(s), and I don’t think that anything I’m working on right now is very good. None of it. I’m worried my doctor’s appointment is going to be utterly fruitless because of an incompetent secretary, while taking that time off from work will look bad to my bosses.
I’m just tired, I’m hormonal, I’m in a new job role and new life role and all of that is making for some uncertainty. I get that. But before I was in a pregnant haze or just happy to not be working for my old employer, or something, because I’ve suddenly come down with a case of self-doubt that’s not quite as bad as it was at my old job, but it’s not healthy.
I still just want everybody to like me and get it “right,” all the time. Is that so much to ask for?


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